she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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