The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
