my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
