I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize