distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
