That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
