how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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