Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You made out with two different species that night
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
