come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
