Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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