you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
