Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
