and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize