from now on my penis is your penis
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
