i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
