there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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