Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
