if only i could text you this smell
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
