idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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