If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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