she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
