Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
