Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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