brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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