I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
