thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
