I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
