i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
