he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
