Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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