i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it was like eating out sand paper
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
