guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
