"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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