Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
