he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
