So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
