OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
