He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
