I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
