I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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