New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
