Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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