he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
