Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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