Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
we're making bets on your personal life
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
