and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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