Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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