why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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