You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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