BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
