Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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