Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My cat gives me a boner
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
